On a positive note, I'm loving our new furniture! Our next purchase is going to be tables, because our coffee table just isn't cutting it anymore! I can't wait to paint, redecorate, and build shelves!
I bought my new camera almost two weeks ago, and I haven't even picked up the owner's manual. I haven't even shot in manual yet. I haven't even had time to try it with my 50 mm prime lens!
I have a dozens of projects planned, some of them major: as in finishing the living room, completely overhauling the bathroom, painting outside, and fixing up the basement. I just wish I could snap my fingers and have the projects done!
As of tomorrow, I have a month to find a new home for my horse. After 2 weeks of searching, I've had no luck yet. I'm worried that my horse is going to end up homeless! I honestly don't know what to do.
I have to make a very difficult phone call tomorrow. We may have to get our cat put to sleep if she is sick with what we think she has (feline leukemia).
I have to make Lexie's 3 year appointment, and make an appointment for her to go to hematology again at the Childrens Hospital. I've been putting it off, but I know she has to get her blood work done. I just fear that there will turn out to be something more going on than just her neutrophils being low from the diarrhea that she had most of last year. I hate to hear about all her nutritional deficiencies, and know that we haven't made much progress with her eating issues.
On Friday, I woke up with a massive migraine. The roads were completely covered in snow, and I knew I wasn't going to be able to drive Dylan to school. I was thrilled when the district upgraded from a 2 hour delay to a closing. I was feeling so guilty about not being able to get him to school due to my migraine, so it was such a relief to have a snow day!
That was one of the worst migraines I've had in a long time. I've felt crappy ever since it eased. I've been nauseous, shaky, and I've had a lingering headache all weekend. I think it's time to talk to my doctor!
On Friday afternoon, the kids and I went to visit my parents and have dinner with them. They ended up getting into a massive fight in front of us. I love my mom to pieces, but she can be so irrational at times. I only recall them fighting like this once when I was growing up, but they've been going at it more and more. It's amazing how much it affects me, even as an adult. They tried to drag me into it, but I said I was having no part of it.
My mom ended up locking herself in her room, and put her headphones on, leaving my dad and I in silence, and my kids in tears. I couldn't leave, because the roads were crappy, and all of our stuff, including our shoes, were locked in her room with her. She finally stomped out of her room and kicked us out of the house.
I ended up in tears the rest of the evening. I was feeling so hurt and emotional after witnessing that. It's so hard to watch them hurt each other. I do everything I can to keep the peace in the family, so it hurts me when my loved ones are fighting, even if I can't do anything about it.
When I finally got home, I locked myself in my room, and just shed the tears. My crying was starting to upset the kids, so I had to do it away from them. After I calmed down, I began cleaning the house in a frenzy, in an effort to keep my mind off of things.
That night, I took my kids to bed with me. I needed the comfort of a sleepover with those I loved most. Right before I turned out the light, Dylan leaned over me and began praying, and Lexie joined in. It was one of the sweetest moments of my life. I vowed to focus on them this weekend!
We enjoyed a lazy Saturday at home. I needed it to recover from the busy weeks I've had, the lingering migraine, and the stress of Friday.
I savored every moment with my kids. Every time Lexie wanted to climb into my lap for a snuggle, I made room for her. When Dylan asked me to lay with him as he fell asleep last night, I did, instead of telling him that he's a big boy and can do it alone. Someday, my lap won't be big enough to hold Lexie, and Dylan will stop asking for me to snuggle with him. That someday will happen sooner than I imagine, so I will enjoy every sweet moment with my babies.
I engaged in some "retail therapy" today. Lexie got a duplicate dress and sweater for her birthday, so I had to return them. The store was having a sale, and I had a coupon, so I bought every adorable dress that I saw for Lexie. I threw in a pair of shorts and a shirt to be practical. And a clearance shirt for Dylan. I ended up paying $50 for 7 dresses, the shorts/shirt, and shirt for Dylan...thanks to the return credit and the coupon! Lexie is just about set for summer!
This afternoon, we had lunch with Grant's parents and Nannie. Apparently, the kids were bothered by the situation of Friday more than they let on, because Lexie informed Grant's mom that, "Mommy was sad and crying because Papa and Nina were fighting. But she's okay now."
I wish that hadn't happened. My heart aches for my mom and dad. I'm trying not to think about it.
I'm going to take it one day at a time. I will get my migraines under control. We will get Lexie's health under control. I will find a home for my horse. My projects will get done. I will get to "play" with my camera. It may not happen as quickly as I hope, but it will happen.