Our Five Ring Circus: October 2008

Monday, October 27, 2008

Not me! Monday

Welcome to my 4th week (I think!) of Not Me! Monday. Click on the button above to take you to MckMama's blog for more Not Me! Mondays!

So what didn't I do this week?

I did not let Dylan listen to his knight song (Muse's Knights of Cydonia) 4 times on our drive to the stable, just because I thought his singing along and dancing to it was adorable.

It wasn't me who forgot to latch Cherokee's stall door. It certainly wasn't me who went back to say goodbye to him 3 times, and caught the open door on the last goodbye. And then peeked around the corner to say goodbye again. (Why oh why can't he live with me?)

I did not realize that my hands still strongly smelled of horse until AFTER I ate my breakfast.

I did not go into Target with my parents, to help them pick out a leapster and games for Dylan's birthday, only to leave with way more than I planned on getting.

I did not buy Lexie leg warmers. What on Earth would she do with those?

It wasn't me who eagerly perused the Toys R Us Big Toy Book to get ideas for Christmas gifts for the kids.

I was not kind of grateful that I didn't have to take the kids to a Halloween parade on Saturday morning due to the rain. Who wants to spend the morning in their pajamas?

I did not snap at my sister for the first time ever, in the middle of a Halloween party, and then walk away crying because I hate causing conflict.

It isn't me who already has Christmas presents bought BEFORE December.

I did not secretly think that Lexie was the most adorable pink bunny ever in the Halloween parade we marched in this weekend.

It wasn't me who was taking deep breaths before I got my flu shot, and hoping I wouldn't pass out in front of my kids. What an example that would be for them! I, of course, did not complain about how much it hurt to my husband later that night.

It wasn't me who finally bought much needed shoes for myself, and then decided I couldn't pass up an adorable sweater dress.

I didn't buy Dylan TWO toys, and tell him not to tell his daddy, and then roll my eyes as Dylan told his daddy that mommy bought him two toys. Stinker!

It wasn't me who wanted to rip out my hair the other night as my baby acted like a beast, only to find out that she was cutting her 2 year molars. Nor did I get a profound sense of relief over the fact that teething was almost done for us.

Oh-and that Cherry-Chocolate dump cake that keeps disappearing from my fridge...that's not me, either!

Wednesday, October 22, 2008

Happy 20 and 47 months, kiddos!

My babies are growing up entirely too fast! Today, Lexie turned 20 months and Dylan turned 47 months. In just one short month, Dylan will be 4. I can't believe it. Even worse, my BABY will be 2 in 4 months!

Dylan is so grown up now. There's not much baby left in him anymore. The only time I catch a glimpse of "babyhood" is when he sleeps. Tonight, he fell asleep in my arms, and I had a flashback to his baby years. Until I stood up to take him to bed, and realized he's practically as tall as me!
He proudly wore his new batman pajamas tonight, complete with light up bat wings, a cape, and matching slippers. He flew around the house, announcing that he is not Dylan, he is BATMAN! I even found myself kissing his cheek, and saying, "Goodnight, Batman" as I put him into his bed. He tells me every day that he really wants to go to school. I just think to myself, "Not yet. Please. Not just yet." But I know that time is coming all too soon. When he was born, 4 years old seemed like it was decades away. Little did I know that it would pass quicker than I could even imagine. And here he is, facing his 4th birthday in one entirely short month.
He may be my big boy, but he will always be my baby.

Lexie has changed so much in the past month, but thanks to her (lack of) hair, she still looks like a baby. Just a really ginormous baby! She has quite a vocabulary, and doesn't hesitate to use it...even when we have no clue what she's saying. I mean, how were we supposed to know that "Wah Toe! Wah Toe!" is translated to Wet Toe?
I argue with her on a daily basis. Everything is a baby to my baby doll obsessed child. The carved pumpkin sitting on our counter for example. "Eeeet sa baby!" Lexie proclaims. "No, it's not," I say. "EEETS A BABY!" Me:" NO, it's a pumpkin." This will go on an on, so I just give up and walk away. Stubborn child. I wonder who she gets it from?
My daughter has a temper on her that you wouldn't believe. She loves to scream and let her feelings be known. She beats the crap out of her big brother and ends up in time out several times a day. I would be lying if I said I didn't love her feist.
I am head over heels in love with my daughter. She exudes so much adorableness that I can't even take it! It's like sugar overload!

I won't lie to you. I love my son just as much.

Time for another? ;) Not just yet. I need another year or two! Really, though, where does the time go?

On that note, Happy 20 months and 47 months to my beautiful babies! I can't believe how far we've come.

Monday, October 20, 2008

Not me......

I am not sitting here typing this blog at 12:17 A.M. only because I know that this time is the only time I'm going to have silence, and be able to concentrate. After all, I should be in bed, so I'm refreshed when the kids wake up. Oh yeah, that's what caffeine is for. I'll stay up late just to have time to myself. Oh wait, not I.

I was not in my pajamas when the furnace guy showed up this week. I did not forgo changing into real clothes while he was here. I have dignity to maintain here! Comfort is NOT an option.

I did not let the kids share another happy meal from McDonald's and then drive to get Long John Silver's. I was not craving hush puppies and coleslaw. I learned my lesson when we last had fast food 3 weeks ago!

It wasn't me who was giddy with excitement over my best friend expecting baby #2. It's not all I've been thinking about either!

While we're on the topic of babies, I did not have 2 baby birthing dreams this week. I didn't feel the slightest bit of disappointment when I woke up and realized it wasn't true.

I did not eat 2 huge helpings of my mom's apple pie dump cake this weekend. That would mean that the hour I spent on the treadmill meant nothing!

I am not thinking right now about the cherry pie filling in the fridge. I will not head out to the kitchen to satisfy my craving with a taste.

It wasn't me who had a camcorder and Nikon slung around my neck at the pumpkin patch. I most certainly did not take 119 pictures. I'm not a crazy mom like that! It wasn't Lexie who refused to smile in every single picture I took. Of course she would smile, even though she was getting her 2 year molars.

Speaking of those 2 year molars, it's not those *bastards* that are making my baby scream for an hour when I first put her to bed at night. And it's not me who wants to tear my hair out because she is screaming like a banshee. Of course I'm not relieved that tonight was much better, and thanking the makers of motrin for it.

I didn't forget the pack and play at my house when I went to drop the kids off at my parents last night. It wasn't my dad who oh-so-graciously offered to pick it up for us, so we weren't late for our 80's party.

I didn't dress in a Mr. Rogers tee tied on the side, pegged jeans, double scrunched socks, jelly bracelets, scrunchy side ponytail, and horrific makeup yesterday for an 80's themed birthday party. My husband was most certainly not dressed as Freddie Mercury. Nor did said couple parade through my parents town, while dropping off the kids.

I did not laugh when the massage therapist, who was giving me a mini massage at the party told me that my kid's were most likely causing me to clench my jaw at night. My sweet kids would cause that? I would never cope with the stress of staying home all day with 2 kids (sometimes 3) by clenching my jaw. Of course, I wasn't sitting there, wondering how he even detected the fact that I clenched my jaw in the first place!

It wasn't me who couldn't wait to shave off my husband's Freddie Mercury 'stache. I didn't breathe a sigh of relief when he let me shave it during the party.

While we're talking about the party, we did not stay until 3:45 am. Why would a non-drinking person do that? Shouldn't she be home in bed, taking advantage of some sleep while the kids were away? It was not 27 ridiculous degrees when we left, and there was not Christmas music playing on the radio already.

That woman mentioned above, did not sleep in until 12:03 PM, and realize that she was ridiculously late in picking up the kids, but secretly relieved that she got some great sleep. And of course that woman did not want to hold her kids in her arms when she talked to them on the phone to tell them she was on her way to get them. Of course she can be away from her babies.

I did not mutter under my breath, "Dylan, I'm going to spank your a**" when my nearly 4 year old son was driving me nuts. It wasn't Dylan who overheard and told me, "Come spank my a**!" I didn't have a secret urge to abandon my anti-spank mindset and actually spank his a** for repeating what I said. And it was not me who actually giggled about it while said child was in time out.

For more Not Me! Monday's, visit THIS blog.

Wednesday, October 15, 2008

The most perfect day

This past weekend was one of the best that we've had in a long time. The weather was unseasonably warm and it was so sunny that it made the vibrant orange leaves appear to be on fire. I found myself commenting on how beautiful the scenery was every few minutes. Saturday and Sunday were the type of days where you felt blessed to be alive, and surrounded by such beauty.

We started out our weekend by taking the kiddos to our favorite hiking spot-one of the most beautiful places, McConnell's Mill State Park. The drive to the park, through the vibrant fall scenery was spectacular. When we got to the park, Grant took Dylan down a very steep ravine to view an amazing waterfall. Dylan was such a fast climber, that Grant had a hard time keeping up with him!

I wasn't willing to take a 19 month old down the steep trail, and risk a fall, so Lexie and I hiked along the trail at the top of the gorge, and looked down at the gorge from the bridge.

We couldn't find a parking place at the actual mill to view the river, so Grant and I took the kids to our favorite climbing spot. The park is filled with GIANT rocks, and is a favorite spot for rock climbers. The scenery reminds me of a prehistoric time period. We took it easy, and let the kids climb down between and under the rocks. Dylan is absolutely fearless, and was scaling the rocks like it was a walk in the park. He was having so much fun, that the huge grin on his face stayed put the entire time.

We finally headed to a very kid friendly walking trail, called Hell's Hollow. Hmmm...doesn't sound kid friendly, does it? We let Lexie loose, and she ended up walking over 1 mile on her own. I couldn't believe how far she went, without getting tired. We hiked down to the waterfall, which was more like a trickle, due to the lack of rain. Then, we checked out the legendary Hell's Hollow hole.

On the way back to the car, the kids were all smiles. Everyone had a wonderful, memorable day! It's a day that I will remember forever.

Monday, October 13, 2008

It's time for Not Me! Monday

It's time for another round of Not Me! Monday. Click on the box above to take you to another fun Not Me! Monday.

Read on for what I haven't done this week!

It wasn't me who secretly wanted Lexie to keep crying, so I could bring her in to bed with me for a snuggle, in the middle of the night. And, of course I wasn't disappointed when she fell back asleep before I could go get her.

I didn't forget that my daughter skipped her nap on Tuesday, until she fell asleep during dinner, in her booster seat.

It isn't me who enjoys doing laundry and folding and putting away the clean clothes. That would just be crazy!

I did not use the money I got back from the price adjustment of Spike the Ultra Dinosaur to purchase four planet heroes toys. Even if they were a BOGO, and for Christmas!

It wasn't me who forgot to put insect repellent on the kids for our hike in the woods on Saturday. Until today.

I didn't lay down with Dylan at bedtime last night just so I could get a quick nap before continuing with my night. I would never tell Dylan I would cuddle with him, just for my own benefit.

It wasn't me who took 300 pictures this weekend. I'm not that camera crazed.

I didn't put off buying myself some shoes again this week because I think all the shoes in the stores right now are ugly. I didn't use the "I didn't go because it was raining" excuse either.

No way did I pass up my sister's housing plan on Friday night because I was too busy talking to my mom. Nor did I turn onto the wrong street when I was dropping my mom off, and had to turn around in a driveway.

It isn't me who hasn't cleaned Dylan's room since my nephews came over to play on Friday. Sure, I've been busy, but I would never go that long without organizing the toys, even if the thought of it makes me want to go crazy.

It wasn't me who enjoyed the calmness of Thursday night while Grant visited his brother. Of course I would miss my husband every moment he is away.

It's not me who feels sad today for the loss of my dog, Morgana, 4 years ago.

And it's not me who feels sentimental over the fact that I saw my precious baby girl 2 years ago, today, for the first time, on ultrasound.

I'm not thinking that no weekend is going to compare to the gorgeous, fun filled one I had this weekend.

Friday, October 10, 2008

Apple Fest 2008

Forgive me, I'm almost a week behind on this post. I'm such a slacker!

Last Saturday, we went to the annual Apple Fest in Grant's hometown. We go every year, mainly to get apple cider, cotton candy, and funnel cake. Now that we have kids, we go for them.

To start off our day, we did the baby contest for the second time. I oh-so-reluctantly put Lexie in it last year, mainly because it was held at a nursing home, and for the elderly. My mother-in-law begged for us to do it, so we did. It was fun, the elderly were happy, and I figured we'd do it this year, since this is the last year she "qualifies." Well....let me just tell you...some of these moms take baby contests a BIT too seriously.

Unlike my child. She didn't want to be there. She wanted to run. Mainly to the inflatable Nemo look-alike that was hanging from a booth behind us.

After I "paraded" her in front of the judges, which she stared down with her trademark arched-eyebrow expression, we were all called to line up in front of the judges table, so they could make a decision. When we got to the front, we were shoved, not once, but TWICE out of line.

We found ourselves stuck behind a glued together line of shoving mothers. Lexie and I stared at each other for a moment, and she pointed to inflatable Nemo. I happily walked away from the contest, and took her to the "fishy" booth where her brother won her the Nemo. She was a happy camper, and that's all that matters to me.

Obviously pageants are not in our future. I'm just not cut out for it.

The rest of the day was fun. We looked at the booths, and ate carnival food. Dylan got his hair sprayed blue, played some games, climbed into a fire truck, and ran through an obstacle course bounce house. Getting him away from said obstacle course was difficult, and now I feel horrible mommy guilt over not letting him do it again. The promise of cotton candy made him feel much better.

The four of us were quiet and happy while walking back to the car.
I chowed down on my funnel cake and sipped my homemade rootbeer, all the while eyeing up my huge bag of cotton candy in the stroller basket.
Dylan scarfed down his cotton candy, and clutched his balloon, candy bag, fire hat, and inflatable alien in his sticky fists.
Lexie had her "fishy" hugged tightly to her chest, and kept pointing at her "ba-oon" and asking for Dylan's cotton candy.
Grant...well...Grant was out of breath from the exertion of pushing the sit and stand stroller filled with almost 60 lbs of kids, gallons of apple cider, and an insanely heavy diaper bag. Poor guy.

Well, at least the rest of us were happy.

Thursday, October 9, 2008

I can see it now!

For months, people have been telling me that Lexie looks so much like her big brother. I could never see it. To me, they look so different.

Well, after creating my new photo header for my blog, I realized that they actually DO look alike. That was the first time I've ever seen a resemblance!!!

Monday, October 6, 2008

My very first Not Me! Monday

I have been following this blog for a few weeks now. Fun read-you should check it out! I have been blogging for a little over a month, and finally feel like I'm ready to participate! Come on and join in! What HAVEN'T you done this week? ;)

So here's my very first Not Me! Monday.

It wasn't me who spent $150 on Spike the Ultra Dinosaur for Dylan's birthday. Why on Earth would I spend that much money on a remote controlled toy? It wasn't my DH who agreed with me that we should buy it...he's not ready to rip open the box to try it out himself.

I did NOT lay in bed, dozing for an extra hour a few days ago, while the kids sat on the bed watching "Dora" and eating Special K bars. No way! That would be completely irresponsible of me.

I didn't feel the need to strangle my husband when he splashed bleach all over several laundry baskets filled with clothes. I would never get so frustrated over something like that! Who needs clean, unstained clothes? Not me! Or my kids for that matter!

I really didn't demonstrate how I could peel a banana with my toes to my brother in law and sisters after my nephews birthday party last weekend. I could never do something like that.

I did not get a secret satisfaction when the Steelers won the game last night. I wasn't happy that my New England Patriots fan of a sister had nothing else bad to say about the Steelers. After all, I don't care about football. Right?

It wasn't me who let Lexie be in the baby contest at the apple fest on Saturday. And it sure wasn't me who turned around and left the contest without a second thought, after the psycho mom's shoved us out of line during the judging. It wasn't Lexie who wanted the inflatable Nemo that was behind us so badly, that she kept turning around and yelling, "fishy!!!" Lexie was not happier playing with the Nemo her big brother won for her, than she was being paraded around. Even if it was for the elderly.

I did NOT sneak into my room today, and lock the door, so I could eat a fistful of cotton candy in peace. Of COURSE I would want to share my stash of cotton candy, fudge, skittles, candy corn, and chocolate hidden in my closet with my kids!

While I'm on the topic of cotton candy, I didn't give any to Lexie on Saturday. No way would I give my daughter spun sugar! Nor would I let Dylan devour half the bag that day. Even if it is a rare treat, I still would never, ever give it to them.

And speaking of food that is bad for you, I did not let the kids share a Happy Meal on Wednesday for lunch. I would never sway from my anti-fast food mindset to let them have it for the ease of the meal and a treat. I didn't stop at Long John Silver's for my own lunch, either.

It wasn't me who dressed Lexie in an ultra-adorable outfit every single day this week, even on the days we weren't going anywhere. *I* don't like to dress her up in cute clothes. It's not practical to put her in a "frou-frou" outfit when we are hanging around the house. I never do this!!!

I didn't drive the 5 miles to my parents house yesterday, just to pick up a container of homemade soup, so I didn't have to cook. No way would I drive out of my way, just to do that. I would never be that lazy!

Wow, that felt great! Very therapeutic!!! I think I could have gone on and on. Wait-I didn't just say that!

Sunday, October 5, 2008

Oh how fast they grow!

My kids are growing at an alarming rate. It seems to sneak up on you. One minute they are newborns, and the next they are all grown up.

To honor that, and to keep everyone updated on how they're growing and changing, I decided to do a weekly spotlight, starting today.

So...here goes.

Dylan is about 1 1/2 months away from turning 4. FOUR! I can't even wrap my mind around that number. How is it possible that my baby is turning 4? He is so grown up now. Yesterday, we went to an apple fest, and it really hit me what a big boy he is. He has always looked older than what he really is, due to his height, but it struck me that he is starting to act like an older kid now, too. He blows me away with how much he knows. That little man is smart! I'm not sure what we're going to do for Pre-K next year, because he knows all of the curriculum already, and then some! His mind works so quickly, that sometimes he has trouble getting the words out of his mouth as fast as he wants to...I swear, he never stops talking and telling us facts and stories! As for stats, he is 44 inches and close to 35 pounds. This week, he has been into playing with his train sets, playing baseball (do I ever get a break from that sport?), and removing links from our countdown to halloween chain.

Lexie is 19 1/2 months. She is spitting out new words so fast, that I can't keep track. The ones I remember from today are Grandma (clear as a bell!) and scarecrow. She loves to sing her ABC's. The only ones that are comprehendable are A, B, and C. After that, they all sound alike, but she knows the melody! She also knows how to count to 3. We're working on the other numbers, but once she reaches 3, she starts clapping and yelling "yay", so we haven't made much progress! She is all about baby dolls. She has one with her at all times, and goes nuts if we see one in the store. We stay as far away from the baby doll section as possible! She's still as picky as ever about eating. Last week, she decided she liked bananas and chicken nuggets, but hated her usual chicken noodle soup and milk. This weekend, she decided she hated all of it. What will she eat now? Kraft macaroni and cheese and eggs. She discovered cotton candy at the apple fest yesterday...of COURSE she will eat that. I'm not sure on her current stats, but I know she's tall, as well. Oh-and her hair is growing some more-the pigtails are starting to flop over! It's been a long almost-20 months waiting for that hair to grow. I knew once it started, it was going to come in quickly!

Friday, October 3, 2008

Good night, Lord Jesus

Every night before Dylan goes to bed, I read him a prayer from a childrens prayer book. I actually got the book when I was around his age, and now I read it to him.

Tonight, I was saying one of the prayers with him, and it ended with, "Good night, Lord Jesus." I was waiting for Dylan to say Amen, and he looked up at me, and said, "But Mommy, I'm not Jesus!"

Thursday, October 2, 2008

My love/hate relationship with October

I love fall. I love everything about it. The smell in the air, the colors of the leaves changing, the cool weather that allows me to wear my comfortable sweaters, the holidays, the activities...I just love this time of year.

I do not love October. Every year, the 1st of October arrives and I just feel down. October holds horrible memories for me. I am able to cope quite well, now that I have my two little kiddos to keep me busy. The past few Octobers have been great, but there are always those memories in the back of my mind, haunting me every day.

Mainly, it started in October of 2004. I was pregnant and dealing with preterm labor issues. I had to rush to the hospital at 30 weeks, with contractions. I received shots to stop the contractions, and had a short stay in labor & delivery, and was sent home on bed rest. All I had to do was keep that baby in for 8 more weeks.
The day I was released, I had to take my beloved, 2 year old Great Dane to the vet, because she had been losing weight and was not acting well. Morgana was my first baby. I loved everything about her. I sat there in disbelief as the vet told me that my dog was very, very sick and only had weeks, if that, to live.
On top of that, my parents had just lost their home (my childhood home) in a horrible flood from a hurricane. One of my sisters and I were having a fight. And we were in the process of buying our house.

I had to keep my baby in, be there for my parents, and watch my dog die all at once.

I sat in bed for a week with my dog, and she died in my arms 1 week later. It is a memory that is seared in my mind forever, and every time I think of it, the grief floods through me.

The last few weeks of October were spent in complete loneliness. I had to lay on the couch, in our new home, and watch as others unpacked my things. I had to lay in my living room all day long, while Grant was at work, thinking only of my dog that had just died, and left me feeling incomplete. I had to worry about keeping my baby inside of me, even though I was contracting non-stop.

The weeks passed and November arrived, leaving behind a month of hell. Every October after that has been a million times better than that one, but I still remember all of the feelings that I had during that time period. It hits me every year.

Now, I just focus on all the fun my kids are having. I enjoy the things we do in October, but I have to admit, I breathe a sigh of relief on November 1st.

My late night ritual

I'm not going to lie. There are days when I'm so stressed out from being a mom all day, that I can't wait for my kids to go to bed.

I enjoy a few hours of peace and quiet, and some true "alone" time after Grant goes to bed.

Then I start missing them.

So I quietly tiptoe into their rooms, and take a quick peek at them sleeping. I repeat this...oh...about a dozen times. Every time I get up to do something, I detour to their rooms. This sounds a bit much, but Dylan and Lexie are wonderful sleepers, and I can't help but look at their angelic faces and feel a surge of love for them.

Sometimes they look so darn cute, that I just have to snap a few pics of them. I know, I know, crazy...just call me stalker mom.

Right before I head to bed, I check on them one last time. I lean over and give Dylan a smooch on the forehead, and tell him that mommy loves him so much, and will love him forever. I ruffle his hair before I head out, hoping that he can sense how much I love him. Every so often he will sigh, smile, and roll over. I repeat the routine with Lexie, but it requires some work, considering she's in her crib. Most of the time, she has her head pressed against the crib slats, so I can bend down and smooch the top of her head, feeling her baby soft hair against my lips. I breathe in her freshly bathed smell and commit it to memory, for I know how fast their young lives fly by.

I can then go to bed feeling happy, loved, and truly blessed.