Not Me Monday

Another Monday is here, which means it's time for Not Me Monday! Time to confess all my imperfections! Head on over to MckMama's blog to read more confessions.

It is not impossible for me to get out of the house on time. I've had two kids for almost 3 years. I should be able to do this by now! I do not turn into a crazy mama as I rush through the house trying to get everybody ready and loaded into the car.

Because of my inability to do this, I was not racing to the apple orchard on Monday, attempting to make it to Dylan's field trip on time. I'm not quite sure how I made it on time!

I did not manage to lose my keys in the pit otherwise known as my purse. I did not have to dump out my purse and diaper bag in the middle of Rite Aid in order to find them.

I did not wake up in the middle of the night, thinking my husband looked a bit strange sleeping next to me. Once my head cleared, and my eyes adjusted, I figured out why he looked strange. I did not think it was so funny that I jumped up to take a picture.

Those are not flannel snowman sheets on my bed.

I have not spent a complete fortune on Pre-K related things this week...fundraiser, book order, school pictures...these things add up fast!

I did not fall asleep during the Steelers game yesterday. Nannie's calm, spotless, too warm house does not make me sleepy.

We did not spend a small fortune at the pumpkin patch! Who needs 55 lbs of pumpkins?

Not Me Monday

Another Monday has arrived, and it's time for my free therapy session, courtesy of MckMama. I get to hide all the imperfect things that have happened over the past week, by saying, "NOT ME!"

The mom who flashed her bra to all the customers sitting on the MckDonald's patio? Not Me.

The mom who had her breast squeezed twice, in front of her in-laws, during dinner? Definitely Not Me.

The mom who had her swimsuit top pulled down multiple times? Not. Me.

The culprit in all of these incidents? Definitely not a certain golden haired toddler.

I did not continue to try to get a picture of my kids before Dylan's Pre-K Ice Cream Social, even though Lexie Bean was screaming.

I did not leave bags of new fall clothes in my kids rooms, for over a week. They are most definitely put away.

It wasn't me who was almost an hour late for a swimming playdate, because I spent too much time shopping.

I was not the frantic, frustrated, LATE mom dragging her kids across the parking lot, and back into the store restroom, because her son left a toy there, and only remembered after he and his sister were strapped into their carseats. The leave your toys in the car rule was not born on that day.

I did not leave my dad and kids in the hot car, and spend 25 minutes shopping in Carters, when I was only supposed to be making a quick stop. What can I say? The sales attracted me. I did not blame it on a REALLY long check out line.

I do not think Dylan's new frog cute, even if it grosses me out.

It's not me who is completely confused and wondering if we should start trying for a baby this fall or just wait until next fall. Decisions, decisions.....

Not Me Monday

This has not been a good week for us. I did crack a bit of a smile while writing this post, thanks to MckMama's weekly blog carnival.

While at the zoo on Monday, my children did not witness Orangutans wrestling (aka making out) or an otter licking it's...ahem...I'll stop there. I do not have photographic evidence of what the otter did.

Lexie did not throw a screaming fit while being weighed, measured, and examined, and then sit completely still and silent as she had blood taken. She is not, not, NOT a drama queen.

I most certainly did not pick up spilled mini marshmallows off of my floor, and put them into a bowl for my kids. I totally threw them away.

Lexie is not calling her new Tinkerbell doll, "Stinkybell."

While mailing my mortgage payment, Dylan did not ask me if I loved the man I was mailing my letter to. When I replied I was mailing our monthly payment to our mortgage company, he did not ask again, "But do you love him, Mommy? The man you send money to?"

I did not wake my kids up minutes before we had to leave, and give them their plates of waffles in the car. Of course I'd rather feed them at home than let them sleep!

While wearing a shorts/tee shirt pajama set, I did not get chilly, and pull on a fleece shirt and slipper boots. You know, because pants are impractical.

I am not always cold. I do not let the house get to 85 degrees before I kick on the AC.

I did not put Dylan to bed last night, covered in dirt.

We are not the proud new owners of a snail. SuperSnail is not it's name, and it is not gorging itself on all the nastiness in our Betta tank.

Not Me Monday

Welcome to Not Me Monday, hosted by MckMama. Like the new banner? If you haven't already, you should join in on this awesome blog carnival!

While you read this, I am at Lexie's appointment with her pediatric gastroenterologist. Couldn't have come at a better time, considering she had the worst bout of diarrhea yet, yesterday. I'm dragging along my hubby, so we can demand some answers. Six months of daily diarrhea is entirely too long! As long as we don't have to have any tests done right away, we are treating the kids with a trip to the zoo, after the appointment! ;)

So, what hasn't happened this week? What haven't I done?

First of all, it's not me, linking up my Not Me Monday post, while I should be getting ready. We do not have to be out the door in 15 minutes. Of course, the kids and I are FULLY dressed and ready to go! ;)

I did not wear a halter top for the first time since I had Dylan and went from an A cup to a full C. I did not worry about exposing something(s) all day long.

Lexie did not ride her bike down the hill, hit the rock wall, and fly over the handlebars into the driveway. I am not overly relieved that bad road rash and a bruised cheek were the only injuries.

I did not offer to make my mom coffee, and then find out that I had only heated up water. I did not forget to pour the water into the back of the coffee maker.

My husband has not been setting off illegal fireworks all week. He is not like a child in a candy store when it comes to fireworks.

We did not abandon a PPV movie, that just may have been picked up from a neighbor, to go outside and watch fireworks. When I came inside to get drinks for my sister and nephews, I did not find an adult film on TV. Oops. I guess that's the bad part about getting channels we're not supposed to be getting. ;)

I did not forget the apples and carrots at home when we stopped to see my horse. I did not rummage through the diaper bag, and feed him a perfectly acceptable bag of organic dried apples and a granola bar.

Lexie was not so exhausted on the 4th of July, that she fell asleep on Nannie's couch, and then slept through falling off the couch. I did not leave her on the floor.



That picture lies.

Not Me! Monday

I love Monday's for one reason, and one reason only...MckMama's blog carnival. I'm sure you all know who MckMama is, but if not, head over to her blog and check it out!

This week, I did NOT go through computer withdrawal, while ours was being fixed. It was not torture to be without computer for 40 long, miserable hours.

While my computer was gone, I did not:
Go to bed by 11 pm. And not fall asleep until 2:30 am, because I'm so used to my online time after everyone is in bed.
Have to figure out where the weather channel is on my TV, because I rely on my homepage for my weather forecast.
Obsessively clean my house, because there was nothing else to do when the kids didn't want to play with me.

I am not finally admitting that Lexie's eyes are just as incredible as her brother's baby blue's. I do not often get lost just staring into her eyes.


My husband did not yell at me for having 24,000 pictures, when he backed up my stuff on the external hard drive. Is 24,000 that bad???

I did not get a raging case of baby fever, after holding my best friend's newborn. Said baby fever did not disappear rather quickly, in the presence of my exhausted kids. Baby fever will not return the next time I get to hold adorable Baby B! (Congrats J & T!!!)

I did not hang out the car window, taking pictures of a huge Pittsburgh Penguins poster hanging from a building, and of the Arena. I am not that dorky.

I did not tell Lexie that spiders would eat her ears if she took her earrings out. She does not walk around telling people, "Spiders eating my ears!!!"

While we're on the topic of torturing our children, I did not make Lexie cry twice yesterday, by fake crying. She is not so attached to me, that a few seconds of my fake tears would cause her to sob uncontrollably. I do not find this slightly amusing.

Last night, Dylan did not ask me, "Mama, what is Breasts?" He did not mistake the word Breasts for the word Brunch. Phew! Glad I got to the bottom of that one before having to explain!

Happy Monday!

Not Me! Monday

Another Monday has come around, and today I am on the edge of my seat, trying to pass time, as I wait for the news that my best friend has delivered her second baby! A Not Me! Monday, hosted by MckMama, seems like the perfect way to pass the time!

I did not finish Angels & Demons in 48 hours. I do not think it is one of THE best books I have ever read!

I did not steal fistfuls of cotton candy out of the bags that my mom bought for the kids. I did not justify it by thinking that it was good for their health that I was eating most of it. Hehehe.

I am not madly in love with doing laundry. A post about that is not coming soon.

I was not beyond thrilled to win Carebear's 100th post giveaway! I never win anything, so it was a pleasant surprise!

I did not let Lexie wear her "rina" (ballerina) nightgown for 48 hours straight this week, just because she loved it so much.

Speaking of clothes, my fashion conscious son did not dress himself in khaki shorts, a button down dress shirt, and a tie, and tell me it was because he wanted to be handsome.

My hubby did not drive crazy speeds to get us to The Ordination of Deacons on time, on Saturday. I did not find myself near tears several times during said mass, just from the absolute beauty of it. My hubby did not fear that he would burst into flames if he shook the bishop's hand. You're not that bad, honey!

Dylan did not hit my face with a baseball today, leaving a bruise. The force behind his hits is NOT incredible. I'm not secretly thinking he could probably hit better than some of the players on the Pittsburgh Pirates. Ha!

I was not ECSTATIC when the Pittsburgh Penguins won the Stanley Cup. I am not thrilled that we were the Super Bowl Champs and the Stanley Cup winners this year! Go PITTSBURGH!

Oh-and I am not incredibly anxious about Baby Braden's arrival!!! Come on, baby! I want to meet you!

Not Me! Monday

After taking a few weeks off, I am more than ready to write this Not Me! Monday post. Visit MckMama's blog for more Not Me! Monday posts!

I did not walk into the bathroom to find Dylan putting my deodorant on, because he wanted his arm pits to smell pretty.

It's not me who is cutting a half inch off my hair every few days, hoping to ease into my upcoming shorter haircut!

When I asked Lexie what letter I had just written on a piece of paper, she did not proudly announce, "Purple!"

I did not vomit just a little bit in my mouth upon overhearing my mom and her best friend talking about how women aren't cleaning their "innerds" properly. My sister's mother in law did not turn to me and ask me if they were talking about roasting chicken, causing me to fall out of my chair laughing. My sisters and I did not joke about cleaning our "innerds" the rest of the day.

My mom did not drop olives on the floor, then walk away, telling me to clean up after her. My sister did not start laughing at me. I did not turn around and whip said olives at her head.

It wasn't me who whooped my mom's butt in Rum this week. I did not score almost 1000 points more than her because she wouldn't give up.

I did not make my dad stop at the outlet mall on our way back from a day trip. I did not need a shopping fix in the middle of a long drive. He did not oblige, just because he can't say no to me. ;)

The dessert table at the memorial day picnic? I did not hit it up 4 times.

Ahhh...it feels good to be back!