Our lives have changed
completely in the past month. Adding a baby to the family is a big enough change, but adding in one with special needs, along with potty training a toddler and sending two kids back to school is sure to make your mind spin!
We have spent the past 3 1/2 weeks adapting to being a family of 6. It has honestly been the easiest transition, despite the initial shock of finding out that Liam had Down Syndrome. I can't believe that my baby will be turning 1 month old in less than a week!!!
I'm going to be sharing Liam's birth story very soon, followed by something I wrote about the first day with him. I haven't been able to hit publish yet, because the post is so emotional. His birth was very surreal. Part of me wishes I could go back to relive the day and tell myself that everything was going to be okay. I feel so guilty about some of the thoughts I had after he was born, but I have been assured by many who were in my shoes that all of those things that I felt were completely normal.
As for now, life IS back to normal. Liam, even with Down Syndrome, just fits in with our family. He is the sweetest baby and seems to enjoy the chaos that is present in our house. We have adjusted to our new routine and this new path that we're on, and we're all getting back into the swing of things.
Here's what has been going on over the past month:
{Liam}
Liam joined our family much earlier than I expected. Apparently he wanted to surprise us in every way possible!
The main issue he is having is with weight gain. When he was almost a week old, he lost a lot of weight. He was born at 7 lbs 11 oz and 20 1/4 inches. At his appointment yesterday, he weighed 6 lbs 2 oz and was 21 inches long.
He has been hovering around 6 lbs for over 2 weeks. He is being breastfed, so we saw our lactation consultant, and he's now using a supplemental feeder while he nurses.
Yesterday, he had a follow up with his pediatric cardiologist. She explained that all babies are born with a hole in their heart and an extra ventricle. The hole does close after birth, and the ventricle closes off. The hole in the bottom of his heart had closed, but the hole was still open at the top. He will have to go back in 6 months to make sure that hole has closed.
Liam was very content through the entire EKG and heart ultrasound. He just held onto my finger, sucked on his binky, and looked back and forth between the doctor and I. Because of this, she was able to do an in depth ultrasound, and discovered something she would have otherwise missed. When the ventricle closed off, it pinched off a bit into his artery, like a skin tag. Right now, he's perfectly normal, but he will need to get scans every year to make sure scar tissue doesn't form on that "tag" and block his artery.
I am very grateful that it was detected and can be monitored. Grant, however, is just terrified that the worst is going to happen and he will need surgery someday. There's the obvious difference in our way of thinking!
Next up is an appointment with audiology to get a hearing screen done, weekly weight checks, and our first appointment at the Down Syndrome Clinic. Early Intervention is also going to be coming to our house to evaluate him. From there, they will determine what, if any, kind of therapy he could benefit from right now, and send a therapist/therapists to our house every week.
And so begins our new journey! Our little man has already touched the hearts of everybody around him, and we are so in love.
{Liliana}
Our sweet Lily turned 2 a month ago, and 2 weeks later, she became a big sister!
My goal was to have her pee-trained by her 2nd birthday, and miraculously, after just a week of trying, we reached that goal! One week after turning 2, she pooped on the potty, and that concluded our potty training adventure. Two weeks and DONE! From there, we got rid of the pull ups for outings and naps. She doesn't stay consistently dry overnight, so she still wears a pull up to bed. I'm so proud of her!
{Alexandria}
Lexie just started 1st grade, and is excelling at her school work and tests. Unfortunately, she hates leaving home, and cries every morning when it's time to leave. The day is very long for her, she finishes her work quickly, and she gets bored. We are currently considering other options for her if her issues persist. Her happiness is priority.
When we brought Liam home, we told the kids that he had Down Syndrome. From that moment, Lexie took it upon herself to protect her baby brother. She is simply amazing with him, and has become the biggest helper. She adores him and I know she's going to be so good for him as he grows. She was stuck in the middle child role for a while, but she has a new role in life, and she is shining.
{Dylan}
Dylan is now in 3rd grade and he loves it! He is very social and loves going to school every day. His class is full of his closest friends. He, too, is excelling.
We did end up skipping Fall baseball this year. I felt very guilty, but I didn't think we could handle it right now. He is considering basketball or cub scouts now, and will play baseball in the Spring.
He absolutely loves his baby brother, but he goes out of his way to make Lily feel special. I love how each child has a sibling close in age and an older/younger sibling that they share a special bond with.
{Grant and I}
Life is good!
Grant continues to work his butt off in the mortgage industry. The commute and the day is long, but it pays the bills! Right now, he's obsessing over baseball (he's a Tigers fan!) and fantasy football.
I know he's been having a rough time between worrying about Liam and missing his father, who would have celebrated his birthday yesterday. However, he has been my rock during the past few weeks. We just celebrated our 13th wedding anniversary on Monday!
We haven't let having a child with special needs slow us down. Liam has come along on shopping trips, to dinners with friends, to picnics, to school activities, and to visit family members. Our first family outing was when he was 5 days old. We took the kids to their schools to find their classrooms, then went to get lunch.
Grant and I finally realized we're pros at this. Grant successfully managed a public bathroom trip with a toddler alone, and we took Lily and Liam out to lunch and they didn't make a peep. Well, maybe not pros, but we got this!
I slipped very easily into the role of mother of four. Liam sleeps very well at night, which helps tremendously. All of my kids have slept well at night, so I have never experienced the exhaustion that comes with a new baby. I will admit that I'm usually drooling on myself by 10:30 every night! My recovery has been really easy, with the exception of having really low iron. Right after I delivered Liam, the nausea disappeared. Oh, happy day! I'm so thrilled to be able to eat again!
After 9 months of being sick, I was back to my pre-pregnancy weight and had a flat stomach again when I left the hospital. That really is the ONLY perk about 9 months of being sick! But we all know that things shift around after you grow a child, so I need to do some toning exercises! I felt well enough to start 2 weeks postpartum, but decided to give my body a break for a month. I'm just used to getting some exercise during the week, and I feel yucky when I don't. I get headaches and have no energy.
I have made some changes to our routine, because I can't, and don't want to, do it all. I'm finally realizing how important it is to push some things aside and enjoy life! Shortcuts are necessary these days! I thoroughly clean the house just one day a week. Every other day, I just do maintenance cleaning. It's actually working out quite well. The house is always clean and clutter-free, so I'm happy! Our friends and family gave us meals for about 2 weeks, so I just started cooking meals every night again. I'm making a lot of crockpot meals and casseroles, but I try to prepare them while the babies are napping.
I get so much done during the day while the kids are in school. Once they get home, it's complete chaos! I am on my feet from the time the bus pulls up until the time the last kid is tucked into bed!
All of the nesting that I did while pregnant was awesome! I managed to thoroughly redo the girls' room (that post is coming up!), and makeover the other bedrooms. I did start on the bathroom renovation, but didn't get very far with it. SOMEBODY had other plans to arrive early! I'm just going to have to work on it bit by bit.
I haven't been able to take Liam's newborn photos yet. Right before I was going to, he came down with an awesome case of infant acne, and it's still lingering. He's so tiny and sleepy that he'll look like a newborn for a while!
I did have to let go of my plan to do a lot of volunteer work at the kids' schools this year. It was doable, even with a baby, but Liam is going to have a lot of appointments. Right now, the health and happiness of my kids is my main concern!
I don't want to be stressed and overbooked, and I don't think it's right for my kids, either. I want to enjoy Fall activities with my family and spend lots of time with our friends. I want to create memories with my children, instead of rushing them from one thing to the next. I want them to feel important and loved!
I want to enjoy right now, because I know just how quickly time passes by.
Finally, I am amazed and humbled by all the love, encouragement, and support we
have received. Our family and friends have been amazing, and
acquaintances have stepped up and become good friends. The outpouring of
support from people I don't even know in real life has touched me. I
have cried more in the past month than I have ever cried in my life.
There is so much good in this world.
