There. I said it.
It all started with a can of pasta.
A can of pasta that Lily occasionally requests. A can of pasta that I'm not afraid to give her because my quirky kid usually requests broccoli or bananas or apples. A can of pasta that she shared with her little brother.
Liam tackled that dreadful canned pasta, which he was eating for only the second time ever, with so much enthusiasm. I snapped away in an effort to capture a moment I didn't want to forget and to fulfill my goal of capturing life's little moments.
Shortly after posting the finished product on Facebook, a friend messaged me and warned me to get ready for the mom shaming. She recently fell victim of it after she posted a picture of her child eating an unhealthy food.
At first it made me laugh, but then it made me think. How often do we see a picture and think "I would never..." and instantly judge?
But here's the thing: a picture only tells so much!
What these pictures DON'T show is the mother who had to fight against
several medical professionals who automatically said her son would never
be able to breastfeed simply because he had Down syndrome.
What these pictures DON'T show is the child who was breastfed until age 2.
What these pictures DON'T show is countless hours of making homemade baby food.
What these pictures DON'T show is the homemade meal that is placed on the dinner table 5 nights a week or the busy family that always gathers so they can eat together.
What these pictures DON'T show is EVERY SINGLE healthy item that is consumed on a regular basis.
Unfortunately, many people would leave it at "I would never..." and automatically assume they are a better person because of their choices. They don't see the big picture.
A picture only tells the story of what's in it.
I'm a busy mom to four kids who rock my world. I love showing all the perfect moments, but I'm not afraid to keep it real. In the endless stream of social media promotion, I refuse to lose my authenticity.
I eat healthy, I purchase healthy food for my family, and I prepare healthy meals. We have a healthy lifestyle. But I have a sweet tooth and there are going to be some "unhealthy" options in my cart and in my pantry. I do believe in moderation when it comes to myself and my kids.
I'm not afraid to shove a lollipop in their mouths if they need a distraction.
I'm not afraid to treat them to ice cream or a small bag of candy.
I'm not afraid to feed them fast food every so often.
And I'm not afraid to buy my 4 year old a can of pasta on occasion when she requests it OR feed it to my toddler.
I'm CERTAINLY not afraid to share the enthusiasm Liam displayed while gobbling up a treat he has only had twice in his life!
I'm not ashamed of the choices I make as a parent. My kids are healthy, happy, safe, and well cared for. I KNOW I'm doing a good job. The smiles on their faces and the way in which they treat others make that evident.
Life is so much more than a series of perfect squares on a social media platform! I REFUSE to censor my life in fear of someone judging me.
It happens all the time, and out of fear, we tend to censor what we
share with the world.
Speck of dust on the floor? Can't share that picture! Kid not strapped in properly because you are in a parking lot
and didn't adjust the straps BEFORE snapping a quick picture of your cutie eating some ice cream? You most
certainly don't want to share that one! Unhealthy item in a lunch box?
Take it out and retake the picture. It's truly getting ridiculous!
Some parents make some very poor choices for their children that are evident. But the nitpicking at mundane issues, such as feeding your child an "unhealthy" food or, GASP, a bottle, is getting out of control!
I shared this on Instagram last night, and the feedback was so positive! I think everyone is fed up with the mom shaming. I've witnessed it on several occasions recently, and I stepped in to defend. ENOUGH ALREADY.
As for myself, I have no problem keeping it real. And I won't apologize for the choices that I make.
I fed my kid canned pasta and he survived. The Earth kept spinning. Life went on. He followed it up with a snack of grapes and hummus. I'll most likely feed it to him again one day. And if I'm going to be judged for that? Well...people really need to get their priorities in order. Or find a hobby.
Life is messy and REAL and perfectly imperfect, and I'm going to live it proudly! Will you join me?
What is one not so popular choice that you made that you aren't ashamed of?
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I love this post Stefanie. Since we're keeping it real, I'll admit that several nights a week, we eat cereal for dinner because I come home from work at 7 or 8 p.m. (Yep, the sugary kind too.) It's all about moderation. No one is perfect 24/7. On Fridays, we order pizza out. (Hey, I never said I was a good cook, and my husband knew this before marrying me!) You're an awesome mom!
ReplyDeleteThat's my kind of dinner! I love cereal!
Deletehaha we eat what's good. You only live once, might as well enjoy it! Id be feeding my kids The Chef on a daily basis if they'd eat it. We always have ramen in our house. We always have generic boxed mac and cheese. I send what my kids like for lunch, McDonald's...check. Burger King...check. Wendy's...check. LOL i dont worry about what other people think!! Guess what? My 15 month old still drinks her milk from a bottle at night ;) Its comforting to her, who am i to say thats wrong???
ReplyDeleteI completely agree about enjoying your food!!!
DeleteOh my goodness why are people so judgmental? I fed both of my children spaghettios until I was sure they would turn in to one. They both have survived into adulthood. You are going a fantastic job being a terrific Mom! Just turn a blind eye to the judgmental comments and open anothe can and enjoy!
ReplyDeleteI agree with you! It's almost like there's a competition these days over who is the better mom!
DeleteI love this!! So often people only share the perfect moments and you know what? We all ate canned pasta and we survived, so I think our kids will be just fine. I just gave my son Apple Annies Spaghetti and he LOVED it. So, I think I am headed down the canned pasta route too =)!
ReplyDeleteI'm all for sharing the not-so-perfect moments, too. Because that's REAL!
DeleteWow! This story is great. Thank you for sharing it. It needs to be heard. Plus, those pictures of Liam are ADORABLE
ReplyDeleteThank you, Cassie!
DeleteLOVE THIS - the message and the pics! :)
ReplyDeleteThank you! XOXO
DeleteLOVE it!! No one is perfect although we sure wish people would get the impression that we are - LOL!!!
ReplyDeleteLove your blog and your kids rock!
Annster's Domain
Thank you so much, Ann! XOXO
DeleteLove this! My husband still loves canned pasta, no judgment here! Mom shaming is the same as bullying, it's got to go!
ReplyDeleteHaha! My husband does, too. And I agree with you. It's out of control!
DeleteOh my goodness - those beautiful eyes! I've craved canned ravioli while pregnant so no judgement here. :)
ReplyDeleteThank you, Amanda!
DeleteLove this! Fist bump for the canned pasta. I feel this way every time I give my kid cheetos and kraft mac & cheese. People just need to lay off their judgmental attitudes.
ReplyDeleteVirtual fist bump, my friend! XOXO
DeleteI love your attitude, how you mother, and this post! He is precious!
ReplyDeleteThank you so much, Brittany! XOXO
DeleteBoom. LOVE THIS! I am so over the whole mom-shaming frenzy, who has the TIME for that? Go BE a good mom instead of complaining about someone who isn't. Sheesh! And somedays I fear my Liam might actually turn into a peanut butter sandwich with how often he requests them. :)
ReplyDeleteAmen! The mom shaming is out of control! I have no problem keeping it real!
DeleteLove this and totally agree. I am shocked at the things that people feel the need to take positions on and get upset about. The one thing I can say "I would never..." about is that I would never judge ridiculously!
ReplyDeleteExactly!!! I'm glad to hear you say that. MORE moms need to say the same thing.
DeleteGreat post! No judgement or mom shaming from me. I have twin toddlers and a 6-year-old, so if they eat anything, I'm happy. We moms definitely need to support each other. I'm with you!
ReplyDeleteI completely agree about supporting each other instead of tearing each other apart!
DeleteGood for you! We should all be content living the best life we can. The world can be a very broken place, and we have to make lots of hard choices every day. Worrying about being judged just makes it so much harder.
ReplyDeleteI agree with you! That's why I'm not afraid to share the "imperfect" moments, too!
DeleteSo so so very cute! The pictures catch the utmost joy from a simple can of pasta. :-) Adorable! I hope you have been well my friend. It is so cold outside. Have fun with the snow coming!
ReplyDeleteMama Hen
I am doing well! I hope you are, too! XOXO
DeleteThis is awesome!! Mom bashing is happening way too much in my opinion! Can't we all just not give a crap what the other does?!
ReplyDeleteI hope we can all reach that point!!!
DeleteYou did WHAT?!?! I would NEVER… Just kidding. ;-)
ReplyDeleteHehe. We eat pretty healthy too. Very nutrient dense, a variety of fruits and veggies, very limited processed carbs, RARELY anything like Hamburger helper or “Cream Of” Soup, try to limit MSG to a minimum etc.
However, there are times when a dinner consists of the cheap hotdogs on white buns with a side of potato chips and call it good. And we enjoy every bite of it while we’re eating it! We go back to eating normal the next day, and believe it or not none of us are glowing in the dark as a result! :-D
Every so often, you HAVE to let go and indulge!
Deletehe he.. mine love canned pasta and ramon noodles!
ReplyDeleteCanned pasta moms unite! XOXO
Delete