Thursday, April 10, 2014

Bring Back Parenting

It was a typical Wednesday morning.  I woke up at 7:30, just before Dylan and Lexie.  I opened the curtains and turned on the TV.  The local news was on.  Just as I picked up the remote to change it to a cartoon, breaking news came on announcing a mass stabbing at a nearby high school.

I felt the anger building.  Every time something like this happens, I feel sad and angry.

We shouldn't have to live in a world where we worry about our children getting killed at school. Every day, I send my kids off to school, praying that they will safely return home to me at the end of the day.  Every time something like this happens, my husband pushes even more for our children to be homeschooled.

I'm angry. 

This may be an unpopular opinion, but in many cases, I DO blame the parents.

Where were they?  Why do they always say they never saw it coming?  Why do we accept the fact that school violence is just a common occurrence these days?

I'm not a heartless person.  I feel deeply for the victims, the suspect, and their families.  But when a child is the suspect, I feel that more could have been done.  They are very much at fault, but they are not a fully developed person just yet.

When a tragedy like this happens, it brings up a lot of questions.  Why did the suspect feel like he had to do this?  Why didn't he feel like he had anyone to turn to when he had these feelings?  If this was a case of bullying, why wasn't more done to help the suspect?  If parents were brought in due to bullying, why didn't they do more if their child was accused of being the bully. 

We, as parents, need to take action.

It is time to bring back parenting.

We have become a self absorbed society.  We do what is easy for US.  We rely on televisions, game systems, and iPads to babysit our kids.  We spend more time staring at our phones than paying attention to our children.  We run our children from activity to activity, which leaves little to no time to spend together as a family.

That's not okay.

We see it every single day.  We watch as children bully each other on playgrounds, while their parents stand to the side, chatting.  We see parents sit in the car during their child's ball game. We hear parents say things such as, "If you do that again, we're leaving!" over and over and over again, but never actually following through with the consequence.  Teachers experience a disgusting amount of disrespect.  Parents are "too busy" to attend school events or help their children with their homework.

It's not okay.

It's time to step up to the plate, parents.  It's time to show our children that they are important.  It's time to show our children that they are loved.  It's time to set rules and follow through with consequences.  It's time to demand respect and good manners.  It's time to pay attention to our children.

Childhood is fleeting.  Our children rely on us to show them how to behave and thrive in this world.  WE are our children's role models.  So let's show them how to be good human beings.

This shouldn't be a topic that we have to ponder.  The harsh reality is that these events are happening more frequently, and we need to do SOMETHING. 

Parents, let's end this. 

We need to put down our phones more often, carve out some time from our busy schedules, and spend time together as a family.

We need to know what our children are doing in school.  We need to ask them how their days were.  We need to show interest in what they like and what they are doing.  We need to show them every single day that they are important and loved. We need to make time for things that are important to them. We need to be tough and say NO. We need to tell them when their behavior is not okay.  We need to fight for our children, and step in when they need us.  We need to stop getting so caught up in our own lives that we overlook those who are counting on us the most: our children.

It is time to end lazy parenting.  I understand that this parenting gig is unbelievably tough, but it's not supposed to be easy!!!  It's supposed to be unbelievably frustrating and rewarding. We are supposed to work hard to raise our children.

This is not okay.

We need to love our children.  Listen to them.  Fight for them. Be present. Set boundaries. Be aware.

We need to parent with all our might.

11 comments:

  1. I cannot agree with you any more!!! As a teacher, I see so many "un-parented" kids every single day and it's sad. I feel like I have to be there for my students because no one at home is. This is such a great post!!!

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  2. Amazing post and so true! I am also a teacher and it's frustrating when parents don't take responsibility or make their kids take responsibility for anything. Now I am a new mom and can't imagine being that absent for my daughter. Thank you for speaking up!!

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  3. Yep. Yes. Amen.

    I pondered doing a post but fighting this migraine, I didn't want to make my blood boil and escalate it. But I am thankful that you wrote one because you said just about everything that I have been feeling.

    Thanks for bringing light to parenting.

    And for your readers who have kids with phones, facebooks, instagrams etc...know your kids passwords. Take their stuff whenever and make sure they know that there is no privacy and nothing should ever be put online that should not been seen by the public or your parent. Get in tune with your kid and actually have conversations with them.

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  4. You hit the nail on the head. I agree with you 1000 percent. Parents are not paying enough time with their children. Spending money on electronic babysitters. Idea of great parenting is sending them to Chuck E Cheese and texting while their children play. There is definitely a difference. Parenting is a hands on approach. Hands on, Teach on, on Pray on approach.

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  5. Very well said. So true and so sad. So, when you get ready to homeschool you just let me know. I'll help you out! :-)

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  6. I had the same response! We all experienced bullying, hardships, etc as children but it is up to the parents to not make a child feel they are too good to be treated as nothing but equal and better than others. But we as parents have to train our children on how to deal with those people and emotions or pain and hurt. Life is not all sunny and roses! I am 35 years old and still deal with bullies! We have a responsibility to train our children to be productive amazing adults. We have to take responsibility for the people our children will become.

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  7. Very well said!! I agree with you whole heartedly!!

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  8. Right, right, and right. And it has been going on this way for a long time. Parents want to be their kids friends instead of parents, you have to be parents and take control. Be the adult, stop giving in, stop buying them everything that comes along, stop arguing when they plead. Set boundaries, don't tolerate rude behavior, expect them to act a certain way, and let there be conquences when they don't. When they say they hate you, just keep telling them you love them and know they won't hate you forever. You are right, society has to deal with the adults they become. Thanks

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  9. I agree. It does seem that the parents are often "checked out" and not paying much attention to the problem kids.

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  10. Great post, Stef! I totally agree with you!

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  11. I couldn't agree more. Some days it's tough, but it's something you never give up on.

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