Monday, October 1, 2012

Heartbreak

This is an incredibly difficult post to write.  Right now, our family is dealing with a lot of sadness.  I have mentioned it briefly, but Grant's dad is very sick.  He doesn't have much time left with us.

It is so hard to watch somebody you love go through this.  He is currently under hospice care, and we are trying to spend as much time with him as we possibly can.

Dylan and Lexie know what is going on.  Telling them that their grandfather was going to pass away was one of the hardest things I've ever had to do. 

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His health has declined in the past two weeks.  We visited him yesterday, and I spent the entire visit blinking back tears.  I think he can tell that his time is near.  He kept hugging Dylan and smiling at him.  He hugged Lexie against him and whispered in her ear that she was beautiful and he loved her so much.  He kept watching Lily toddle around, and I could see the sadness in his eyes.

Dylan and Lexie are old enough to have memories of him.  All Lily will have is pictures and stories.

Every time I think of Grant's dad, I picture him on the first day I met him.  He was so young and full of personality.  He still has his wicked sense of humor, but his tiredness and weakness is beginning to take over. 

The kids know and understand what is happening.  It is sweet that they know they must be quiet and gentle around him, but also very sad that they have to experience this at such a young age.

Yesterday, I witnessed one of those moments that took my breath away.  It was one of those moments that I won't ever forget.

Grant's dad has been stealing Lexie's lovey since she began carrying it around at 6 months old.  At first she would get mad at him, but soon it became a game.  It was a game they continued up until a few months ago.  He would come in the door, and ask, "Where is BunBun? Give me BunBun!!!"  Lexie would squeal and run away as quickly as possible, clutching BunBun to her chest.  He would finally get it and hide it, usually in his shirt pocket.  This game would go on and on and on.

Yesterday, Lexie realized her PapPap was too tired and weak to get out of his chair.  She disappeared for a few seconds, then returned with BunBun in her hands.  She pressed BunBun against Dick's chest, saying, "Here, PapPap.  You can hold him."  She smiled at him, then hugged his arm so tightly.

It broke my heart.

This is what we are living.  The thing about life with three children, is that it moves at a ridiculous pace.  There isn't much time to mourn. Mourning happens when I'm away from the kids.  But life keeps moving on, and we're living it as we should.  The harsh reality is that this is all going to be over way too soon.

Saying goodbye seems impossible right now.

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27 comments:

  1. I'm so sorry Stefanie. Prayers for you and your family...

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  2. Such a hard time in life. Praying for God's strength for all of you!

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  3. My heart break for your family. You are an incredibly strong momma, one who holds your family together. I know all of your will get through this very difficult time. I am glad your children have memories & photos that they will always keep close their hearts. xoxo

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  4. Such a hard time in life. Praying for God's strength for all of you!

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  5. You have me bawling my eyes out over here. That story about Lexie was so precious. I'm so sorry you are all going through this. My thoughts & prayers are with you!

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  6. Praying for all your family during this hard time.

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  7. Praying for your family during this hard time.

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  8. Hugs for all of you and prayers for strength to get you through each moment. I'm sorry you all have to face this already.

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  9. Hugs for all of you and prayers for strength to get you through each moment. I'm sorry you all have to face this already.

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  10. My heart breaks and goes out for you all. <3. Your family is in my prayers! Hugs to you! <333

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  11. OH I'm so very sad for you! I am praying for you, your hubby, your babies, your entire family. Bless his sweet soul & praying for God's spirit to uphold you right now & always. PRAYING for a peace for your family.

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  12. I'm so sorry you are going thru this Stef.

    Sending your family lots of prayers thru this hard time!

    xoxo

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  13. I'm so sorry that you are dealing with this right now.

    Isn't it amazing the way kids understand and how they process it all? I'm sure Lexie grabbing BunBun and bringing it to her grandfather meant so much to him!

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  14. I am so sorry for what you are going through. This is a very difficult time and my heart goes out to you and your family! You are in my prayers.

    Mama Hen

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  15. I'm blinking back tears just reading this. So sorry. I'll be thinking of you and your family.

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  16. Oh, my God! I am so sorry, I like your blog, but I don't like I had to read the first blog about your pain and .........time...is never enough...

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  17. This post made me cry. I am so sorry you are all going through this right now. I don't even know what to say. Please if you need anythign let me know. Love you all!

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  18. i'm so sorry to hear the news. ill pray that his passing is painless, loosing someone is never easy, just lifting you and your family up in prayer today

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  19. I'm so sorry :( A few years ago we lost Jon's gma and it was so hard to explain to Elly. Hang in there, hugs hugs hugs!!

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  20. I am so sorry for what you and your family are going through. I will keep you all in my thoughts and prayers.

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  21. I wish I could say something that would help, but there just isn't anything. I am so incredibly sorry. Just so sorry.

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  22. Stef, if you guys need anything let me know...this post made me cry, Im so sorry that Lily will never get to know Dick the way he was. He is one of the funniest, loving men I have ever known.

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  23. Saying a little prayer for you and your family! It's always hard to go through things like that :(

    ♥B
    With Love From Michigan

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  24. I am so sorry to hear this.. Praying for you guys.

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  25. What a touching post, and to see Lexie show such love to her Grandfather, it breaks my heart. My best to you all during this time.

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  26. I have tears running down my face.

    You know everything I would post here already XOXOX

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  27. I am so sorry to hear this sissy! Praying for Grant's dad and your family! Hugs!

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