Toward the end of August, my life was moving at such a fast, unsettling pace that I couldn't even think straight. Before I knew it, September 7th arrived, and Dylan headed off to his first day of school. I felt like I didn't get a chance to prepare myself for that moment.
One month has passed since that big day. Every day I'm reminded of just how grown up my son is. He now has a life away from me, one that I'm not a big part of. I feel as if he's growing apart from me, bit by bit, as he navigates life on his own.
That's inevitable, but I don't have to like it.
Yesterday, I was scheduled to volunteer in Dylan's classroom. Dylan was thrilled when I told him that I would be helping in his classroom that day. When I knocked on the door, and was let into the room, his eyes lit up, and I was greeted with an enthusiastic "Hi Mommy!!!"
I read 3 books to his class, and then worked one-on-one with each student. It was so nice to meet each classmate individually. All of the kids were so cute and sweet. I was reassured that Dylan was in a great class.
When it was time for me to go, Dylan came over to give me a hug, and then rejoined his class on the rug. As I was slipping on my coat, I paused for a second, because I saw him duck down instead of focusing on the teacher, and that was surprising.
I began to walk away, but Dylan's tearful words stopped me in my tracks.
"I miss my mommy!"
I was shocked. This was completely out of character for him!
Dylan has never had a fear of strangers or trying something new. He's never had separation anxiety. On his first day of preschool, he walked right into the classroom and didn't look back. He jumped aboard the bus on the first day of Kindergarten with no problem. He can ease his way into any group or situation. He is the friendliest, most loving boy. He will talk to anybody that crosses his path, and loves everybody in his life. He is so social, happy, easy-going, and independent.
Dylan's sadness broke my heart. As much as I wanted to swoop in and make those tears go away, I knew that he would be completely fine within a minute or two. So I exchanged a glance with his teacher, and left the room while she reassured him that he would see me soon.
As I walked down the hall, away from my son, I smiled. Those 4 words had so much meaning. I was comforted by the fact that even with his growing independence, he still needed me and loved me more than anything.
At home, I eagerly awaited his return from school. Usually, Dylan grabs a snack, and runs off to play after showing me the contents of his backpack. Yesterday, he wanted to spend time with me. So we sat down at the table, and worked on a school project together. We talked quietly about his day while we cut and pasted. It was simple, but it meant the world to me.
I love my sweet boy more than words can say, and I'm reassured by the fact that he still loves me just as much as I love him.
So sweet!
ReplyDeleteaww what a sweet heart
ReplyDeleteoh my goodness I am in tears with this post. I can not even imagine what those 4 words meant to you and did to your heart. Time goes soo soo soo fast and just going to his school that one day reminds you and him how much you both mean to each other.
ReplyDeleteThank you for sharing this sweet post. It is somethig you will want to and will remember forever.
You sure do have a sweet little man on your hands.
Thanks for making me cry :)
I'm so glad I'm not alone in this kindergarten journey!!! I've been FEELING so much more in regards to my kids because of it.
ReplyDeleteTHis is a tough journey, isn't it? I am glad you were able to get into his room and help, as I know how much the kids love that. As a parent, isn't it nice to get to know their classmates?
ReplyDeleteIt is crazy how they can be - all of a sudden - overwhelmed with emotion and wanting mommy, even when they've never done that before!
ReplyDeleteThis post made me cry! How stinking sweet is your boy! I hope mine growns up the same way!
ReplyDeleteThat's so sweet Stef. He's a mommy's boy. I bet all of his friends thought you were awesome. I look forward to those volunteering days. That's one of my last memories of my mom. When she volunteered for V-day. Everyone thought she was "Cool" haha. Hopefully I'm one of those "Cool" moms too.
ReplyDeleteAwwww, that is so sweet! I have to go dry my tears now!
ReplyDeleteOMGoodness that brought tears to my eyes. I can relate so much to your story. Such a sweet boy.
ReplyDeleteHave a great Friday
Awwwwwwwwww
ReplyDeleteSOOOOO precious :) What an incredible feeling to know how much you're LOVED and MISSED! Super sweet from a boy to his Mommy!
ReplyDelete