Dear Liliana,
One year ago, today, you came into our lives and changed us forever. You completed us. The love I felt for you when I first held you overwhelmed me. My love for you has grown every single day since I first met you.
Your birth was quiet and beautiful. All the excitement happened in the middle of the night, and you came quickly, so nobody had a chance to make it to the hospital in time. We were the only ones in labor and delivery, so all the nurses stood in the doorway, watching and waiting. Your daddy and I held hands as you entered our lives. You were born at 7:24 AM, as the sun was rising high over Pittsburgh.
You captivated everybody around you from the time you arrived in the world. You were so sweet, so little, so beautiful. You brought smiles to the faces of everybody that held you. You continue to do so.
You have grown and changed so much in a year. You went from a helpless, fragile newborn to a walking, talking baby, full of personality. It's so hard to believe that a year has already passed since you were born.
I tried so desperately to slow down time, but the big day has already arrived. Birthdays are very bittersweet when you are a parent. Watching your child grow is a blessing, but it's so difficult to let go.
There are so many things I want to remember about your first year. I want to remember how tiny your head was when you were born. It fit perfectly into my hand. I want to remember your adorable, tiny bum. Even newborn diapers slipped off. I want to remember those super-soft, bony heels of yours, and your little legs. I used to stroke them as I was feeding you. I want to remember your sweet, newborn smell. I want to remember all those quiet nursing sessions, when you were mine, and mine only. I want to remember how it felt to have you lay on my chest. It instantly relaxed me. I want to remember how you used to scoot up until you were perched on my shoulder, with your face buried against my hair. You were like a little parrot. I want to remember those soft puffs of air you breathed into my ear when you were sleeping against me. I want to remember those teeny tiny fingers curled over mine. I want to remember those first, gummy smiles you used to flash at me. I want to remember your soft, fuzzy head that smelled so sweet. I want to remember your tiny ears that I used to stroke to calm you. It seems like those things are just wisps of memories now.
All of that may be long gone, but you are so much more now. You are sweet. You are cuddly. You are affectionate. You are happy. You are funny. You are content. You are curious. You love everybody around you, and they love you back. It's impossible not to love you. Your sweet personality is what makes you so special.
This year may have flown by faster than I would have liked it to, but we have made so many wonderful memories with you. There have been so many wonderful firsts. You fit into our family so perfectly, that it feels like you've been with us forever. You brought so much joy and happiness into our lives this year.
I am so blessed to be able to wake up to your sweet, smiling face every day. When you flash me your grin, then snuggle up against me when I pick you up, it makes my day. I am so blessed to be your mom, and so proud to call you my daughter.
You are loved fiercely by many. Don't every forget that or doubt that. I can't even accurately explain how much I love you. Someday, when you have a child of your own, you will understand. You are loved, and will always be loved.
I held you tight before I put put you in your crib a few hours ago. You were already asleep, but I held you close, savoring the last moment of holding my infant, trying to remember every detail. When you wake up this morning, you will officially be one. No matter how big you get, you will always be our baby.
My sweet Lilybug, this first year with you has been amazing. I can't remember how life was before you were born, nor do I want to. You were meant to be. I prayed for you, and my prayer was answered.
I say it all the time, but only because it's true. You light up our world. Happy 1st Birthday, baby girl. I love you with all my heart, always and forever.
Love, Mama
August 3, 2012 1:10 AM
